No means no.
This was going to originally be a blog about all the wonderful crazy thing’s that happened on trip. However one event in particular happened & sparked a message for the public.
Now this is & has been & im sure will continue to be an issue throughout life but hopefully by shedding some light we can help get the word across.
NO means NO.
Ladies. No means NO.
Fellas. No means NO.
In any situation. Whether that may be you not wanting to go out with certain friends, or you not wanting to work at that job.
Or what it seems, most commonly in the bedroom or any sexual advance.
I had met a what I thought would be a cool new friend down at the beach. We have mutual friends & our biggest thing in common is we are both from Michigan so I thought ‘thank goodness I won’t be a third wheel tonight I can just chill and have good conversation.’
Well the topic of relationships came up & I had made it very clear on what my intentions were & were not. We had a 30 minute conversation about how I refuse to sleep around or have one night stands, so if I’m going to put myself in that position I will do so knowing or hoping that things will continue for the long haul. Now I had made it very clear that I don’t just go around kissing people that I had just met nor should anything ever be expected of me. I told him straight to his face I will not have sex with you, so if that’s what your intentions are you need to re evaluate the situation.
So fast forward we’re all hanging out and one of my friends isn’t feeling the best so I decided to call it a night & the next thing I know this man is standing next to me trying to convince me to sleep with him. He is verbally telling me that I should do this & I should do that & that I was asking for it to happen. Telling me how it’s not “cool” of me to not do it. How it would be wrong of me to neglect him like that.
Now here’s the thing, when anyone man or woman makes it very clear they are not interested, please just stop right there. When a man or a woman makes it clear that they have zero intentions on having sex with you don’t bother to convince them otherwise. You sir, are part of the problem. This is one subject that I am very passionate about as I have been sexually assaulted one more than one occasion. So all I’m saying is:
No means no, so don’t try to get them to change their mind.
No means no, so respect those boundaries.
Listen; we have to do better. Sex, time isn’t owed and at any point it can be taken back from an instant, and we need to recognize that. Persuasion, guilt or any form of manipulation is unacceptable. Boundaries and understanding, no means no and nothing can change that outside of the person saying it.